feminism
Seriously feminism? Seriously??
Thursday, December 13, 2012
I am writing this post tonight because I'm irritated. About what you ask? Obnoxious feminists that's what. This is a hard topic for me to discuss with people because while I believe positive feminism is good, I don't believe all feminism is good. I think some of it is ridiculous, or basically just "doing it wrong". Don't misunderstand though, I am all for women having the same chance for success in life as men, and to be seen as equally valuable. I am totally going to teach my daughter (the one I'll have someday) that her right as a human being is to do whatever makes her feel successful; and her gender shouldn't stop her, even if she wants to be a Fortune 500 CEO, a brain surgeon, an olympic snowboarder, or a mother. She should be proud of what she can contribute to this world.
But guys... radical feminism and radical feminists just drive me bonkers.
Currently today there is a lot going on in our world by way of feminism movements. More women enroll in college and graduate than men. In the entertainment industry it seems like more women are featured as tough gritty detectives, lawyers, doctors, than used to be, and they're even being dressed down, instead of provocatively, in some of these roles (examples: Mariska Hargitay in Law & Order SVU; Maria Bellow in Prime Suspect. Both awesome shows, both have a very serious lack of gratuitious cleavage! Finally something realistic. No cop wears heels to work, Hollywood.) It's awesome that women are thriving, but are there some of us women that are doing it wrong?
YES.
SO VERY MUCH YES!
First of all, a lot of women think they need to be seen as identical to men. But quite frankly, that's impossible. Why is that? Oh let me think, I don't know, maybe it's because you don't have a penis, or testicles, or the same hormone levels as a man. How about we talk about your brain for a minute, too. You know how you can think of 5 things at once and listen to your girlfriend tell you about her day and she feels like you successfully listened to her? Ever notice how your husband/brother/dad/boyfriend watches something on tv and suddenly seems catatonic? It's because we're diff-er-ent.
I don't want to be seen as a man. I just want to be equally valued as a man. I am a woman, and I am proud of the things that make me female. I am more inclined to nurture, and I feel things in such a different way than my husband does. I cry in sad movies. He just looks at me like I'm weird, because he's a military guy and can keep a stonewall face under any circumstance. We are both so stereotypically our gender, but that's a great thing. The very way he is designed, is the reason I love him. I don't want to be male. They have their own set of problems. I've spent 28 years mastering mine, and I really don't want to have to deal with what they do... but then again, guys would never be able to deal with what we do either *ahem* vagina-tearing childbirth *ahem*.
What is so wrong with being appreciated because you are female? And what is so wrong with appreciating men because they are male? And one more... what is so wrong with appreciating yourself because you are female?! I feel like radical feminists that I encounter, or see in the public eye seem to have a problem with their female-ness. It's really irritating. It's like they're fighting to be seen as the same, when they should hold on to what makes them women.
This leads me to what brought all this on... There are 2 women in the LDS faith, which I happen to be a member of, that are holding a "wear pants to church" day this weekend. Every woman that supports the idea that men and women in the church should hold entirely identical roles should wear pants in support of their cause on Sunday. It's caused all sorts of backlash because culturally, you are told to wear your "best clothes", and in the American culture, that's typically a nice dress for women, and a suit for guys.
Let me just set this straight though, there is no church rule that you have to wear a dress. If I were to show up in jeans one Sunday, I would be welcome to stay and participate just as much as if I were in my best dress with my hair and makeup done well. Gospel and religious ceremonies, should be respected, therefore if you have the opportunity to wear your best clothes, you should, and if they happen to be pants instead of a dress, then go and participate! You know you are dressed in your best! I would do so in any other meetinghouse if requested to do so. But what if you only have jeans or dirty clothes? What if I'm on vacation and my luggage got lost, but I wanted to attend church and only had the clothes I wore with me on the plane? Well guess what, I and you would still be welcome. And I've never seen anyone turned away for wearing pants. It's the dumbest approach to the situation. (There are those that gossip about others that are different than them, but those aren't church regulators, or authorities, so they should be ignored at all costs. Besides, they are dumb people anyway.)
What these women really want is to be given the priesthood rights that men in our church have. It's really foolish of them. The roles given to women are extremely valued by God, and by men (the men who have good brains) and should be valued by women. The Relief Society in the LDS church is the biggest women's organization in the world. Sure it's very typically female in its roles -- sharing recipes, chatter-box conversations, and teary-eyed meetings where women share their feelings, but have you ever thought about how amazing the organization is? They are always providing service for other people that need it. Passing around dinner-delivery signup sheets for women in their neighborhoods that just had a baby and need meals, or someone whose loved one just died and needs help. They do charity drives, blanket drives for those that need warmth from the cold, and provide friendship and a safe haven for women. For some women this is the only place they find friendship and understanding.
And then there's the awe-inspiring role of motherhood. Broken down in its simplest form, you grow a human in your body while it sucks the nutrients out of you from the inside, then you push it out of you, in a way that only seems like magic because visually and logically it seems that it should be impossible. And then you raise the child into a productive, functioning human. (That is the simplest way to explain it, we all know motherhood is NOT that simple).
The comment boards of an article talking about this "wear pants to church" movement had such a great comment from an LDS person. They said (and I'm paraphrasing), "Men are given the priesthood roles because they need to learn to be service-oriented. Women are innately built better than we are at this task. We are given these challenges to become better at what women are already professionals at." And let me take this a step further. My belief is that God created women to be a partner to men. That means they are equal in value.
Let's talk about this in a business format. Men and women are designed differently for different reasons. Therefore to further this analogy, you would talk about business partners. Who does what and how often? Well, you have the one person in the business partnership that is excellent at sales... he brings in all the prospective buyers or investors. He's your basic people-person, the schmoozer. Then you have the other guy who excels at data organization, and we'll say this is you. You handle all the information that the sales guy just can't process because he deals with how he makes people feel, and you handle the numbers. Do you think you'd have great investors if the people-person of the partnership was just like you? Nope. Do you think your business would last long if your organization skills didn't exist and you were just a schmoozer too? Nope, you'd both end up schmoozing about everything, and nothing would get filed properly, or taken care of.
THIS IS WHY MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT. It's the same basic principle. One of you has more to offer in one area than the other, and vice versa, but you're both equally valuable because without one the other couldn't function. Imagine a world of strictly men... my brain exploded. I can't... compute... that idea. All I know is, it would smell like feet and sweat.
Imagine a world of strictly women? Eeesh, it really would be awful, no one would get anywhere because we'd all be trying to protect each other's feelings. It wouldn't last long though, we'd all eventually get in one massive car accident and most of the population would be gone (I know, sorry, some women drive well, but we all know we've done some dumb things driving and got away with it because we're cute). Yuck. I do not want to live in an all-female world.
WHY, OH WHY, you radical feminists you, do you not see all the wonderful that you have in you? But also, why can't you see how important men are to the equation as well? We are both extremely valuable in our differences. We cannot survive in a world without the other.
So all I have to say is this,
Stop doing it wrong...ladies.
Any thoughts?
Some interesting sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relief_Society
http://www.prb.org/Articles/2011/gender-gap-in-education.aspx
Currently today there is a lot going on in our world by way of feminism movements. More women enroll in college and graduate than men. In the entertainment industry it seems like more women are featured as tough gritty detectives, lawyers, doctors, than used to be, and they're even being dressed down, instead of provocatively, in some of these roles (examples: Mariska Hargitay in Law & Order SVU; Maria Bellow in Prime Suspect. Both awesome shows, both have a very serious lack of gratuitious cleavage! Finally something realistic. No cop wears heels to work, Hollywood.) It's awesome that women are thriving, but are there some of us women that are doing it wrong?
YES.
SO VERY MUCH YES!
First of all, a lot of women think they need to be seen as identical to men. But quite frankly, that's impossible. Why is that? Oh let me think, I don't know, maybe it's because you don't have a penis, or testicles, or the same hormone levels as a man. How about we talk about your brain for a minute, too. You know how you can think of 5 things at once and listen to your girlfriend tell you about her day and she feels like you successfully listened to her? Ever notice how your husband/brother/dad/boyfriend watches something on tv and suddenly seems catatonic? It's because we're diff-er-ent.
I don't want to be seen as a man. I just want to be equally valued as a man. I am a woman, and I am proud of the things that make me female. I am more inclined to nurture, and I feel things in such a different way than my husband does. I cry in sad movies. He just looks at me like I'm weird, because he's a military guy and can keep a stonewall face under any circumstance. We are both so stereotypically our gender, but that's a great thing. The very way he is designed, is the reason I love him. I don't want to be male. They have their own set of problems. I've spent 28 years mastering mine, and I really don't want to have to deal with what they do... but then again, guys would never be able to deal with what we do either *ahem* vagina-tearing childbirth *ahem*.
What is so wrong with being appreciated because you are female? And what is so wrong with appreciating men because they are male? And one more... what is so wrong with appreciating yourself because you are female?! I feel like radical feminists that I encounter, or see in the public eye seem to have a problem with their female-ness. It's really irritating. It's like they're fighting to be seen as the same, when they should hold on to what makes them women.
This leads me to what brought all this on... There are 2 women in the LDS faith, which I happen to be a member of, that are holding a "wear pants to church" day this weekend. Every woman that supports the idea that men and women in the church should hold entirely identical roles should wear pants in support of their cause on Sunday. It's caused all sorts of backlash because culturally, you are told to wear your "best clothes", and in the American culture, that's typically a nice dress for women, and a suit for guys.
Let me just set this straight though, there is no church rule that you have to wear a dress. If I were to show up in jeans one Sunday, I would be welcome to stay and participate just as much as if I were in my best dress with my hair and makeup done well. Gospel and religious ceremonies, should be respected, therefore if you have the opportunity to wear your best clothes, you should, and if they happen to be pants instead of a dress, then go and participate! You know you are dressed in your best! I would do so in any other meetinghouse if requested to do so. But what if you only have jeans or dirty clothes? What if I'm on vacation and my luggage got lost, but I wanted to attend church and only had the clothes I wore with me on the plane? Well guess what, I and you would still be welcome. And I've never seen anyone turned away for wearing pants. It's the dumbest approach to the situation. (There are those that gossip about others that are different than them, but those aren't church regulators, or authorities, so they should be ignored at all costs. Besides, they are dumb people anyway.)
What these women really want is to be given the priesthood rights that men in our church have. It's really foolish of them. The roles given to women are extremely valued by God, and by men (the men who have good brains) and should be valued by women. The Relief Society in the LDS church is the biggest women's organization in the world. Sure it's very typically female in its roles -- sharing recipes, chatter-box conversations, and teary-eyed meetings where women share their feelings, but have you ever thought about how amazing the organization is? They are always providing service for other people that need it. Passing around dinner-delivery signup sheets for women in their neighborhoods that just had a baby and need meals, or someone whose loved one just died and needs help. They do charity drives, blanket drives for those that need warmth from the cold, and provide friendship and a safe haven for women. For some women this is the only place they find friendship and understanding.
And then there's the awe-inspiring role of motherhood. Broken down in its simplest form, you grow a human in your body while it sucks the nutrients out of you from the inside, then you push it out of you, in a way that only seems like magic because visually and logically it seems that it should be impossible. And then you raise the child into a productive, functioning human. (That is the simplest way to explain it, we all know motherhood is NOT that simple).
 |
| It seems to be reverse now, men are being downgraded as important, and are losing self-esteem and drive. |
The comment boards of an article talking about this "wear pants to church" movement had such a great comment from an LDS person. They said (and I'm paraphrasing), "Men are given the priesthood roles because they need to learn to be service-oriented. Women are innately built better than we are at this task. We are given these challenges to become better at what women are already professionals at." And let me take this a step further. My belief is that God created women to be a partner to men. That means they are equal in value.
Let's talk about this in a business format. Men and women are designed differently for different reasons. Therefore to further this analogy, you would talk about business partners. Who does what and how often? Well, you have the one person in the business partnership that is excellent at sales... he brings in all the prospective buyers or investors. He's your basic people-person, the schmoozer. Then you have the other guy who excels at data organization, and we'll say this is you. You handle all the information that the sales guy just can't process because he deals with how he makes people feel, and you handle the numbers. Do you think you'd have great investors if the people-person of the partnership was just like you? Nope. Do you think your business would last long if your organization skills didn't exist and you were just a schmoozer too? Nope, you'd both end up schmoozing about everything, and nothing would get filed properly, or taken care of.
THIS IS WHY MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT. It's the same basic principle. One of you has more to offer in one area than the other, and vice versa, but you're both equally valuable because without one the other couldn't function. Imagine a world of strictly men... my brain exploded. I can't... compute... that idea. All I know is, it would smell like feet and sweat.
Imagine a world of strictly women? Eeesh, it really would be awful, no one would get anywhere because we'd all be trying to protect each other's feelings. It wouldn't last long though, we'd all eventually get in one massive car accident and most of the population would be gone (I know, sorry, some women drive well, but we all know we've done some dumb things driving and got away with it because we're cute). Yuck. I do not want to live in an all-female world.
WHY, OH WHY, you radical feminists you, do you not see all the wonderful that you have in you? But also, why can't you see how important men are to the equation as well? We are both extremely valuable in our differences. We cannot survive in a world without the other.
So all I have to say is this,
Stop doing it wrong...ladies.
Any thoughts?
Some interesting sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relief_Society
http://www.prb.org/Articles/2011/gender-gap-in-education.aspx
We don't have to be pretty.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Hey everyone... I sometimes contribute to the Embodyed blog (you know the one about bodies and self -esteem... totally worth checking out) and the simplest post caught my eye.
The title was "You don't have to be pretty", and the only thing written in the body was "you knew that right?" and it linked to the following blog post about pretty.
You must read it. Men seem to get this. Women seem to feel their life must be the total opposite. If you read anything today, read this. (Click the highlighted text). I can't believe how perfectly written this post is. I feel like it is the truth. Everything else the media and world tell you is a lie.
The title was "You don't have to be pretty", and the only thing written in the body was "you knew that right?" and it linked to the following blog post about pretty.
You must read it. Men seem to get this. Women seem to feel their life must be the total opposite. If you read anything today, read this. (Click the highlighted text). I can't believe how perfectly written this post is. I feel like it is the truth. Everything else the media and world tell you is a lie.
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