I have no idea what spawned a really funny dream I had the other night. Here's the story:

I was riding in a fancy train car through some country I've never been in. Everyone in the car was having a blast, but no matter how much I tried to join their groups they wouldn't let me in. I tried befriending them, but nope! I started to feel dejected and frustrated. That night in the train car, a group was watching a movie and I wanted to watch too. They said, "Ain't no skinnies be watchin' with us!" This was because all of them were large, curvaceous women. In my defense I tried to teach them how to be respectful to people of all sizes, and let them know that just because they'd been mistreated all their lives for being overweight, that rejecting me because of my appearance was just repeating the problem behavior! 

It didn't work.

They laughed me out of the room, and I decided to just go hang out by myself. I started eating a bunch of fried chicken that was sitting on the table nearby to feed my woes, and I could hear them all muttering, "Who does she think she is, like we'll feel bad for her, she may not have friends, but her thighs will never be huge! She doesn't even know us at all!" 

And then I woke up.  Probably one of the weirdest dreams I've ever had. If not the weirdest, it's at least  up there next to the frog detective that keeps chasing me, or the one involving care bears letting me float with them in a hot air balloon. All that one consists of is pure peaceful floating with some fuzzy, loving bear friends. I guess I've always had an overactive brain in my sleep. Must be why I'm always sleepy!

So, that dream got me thinking all about food all day long. That night I came home and made a huge batch of my new favorite food -- chicken and black bean burritos. I make a large batch of them and throw them in the freezer. Then whenever I'm hungry, or Justin is hungry, we just pop one in the microwave for 2 minutes! They are SO MUCH better than any store bought burrito I've ever had.



Here's my recipe:

LANA'S AMAZING BURRITOS

• Boiled and shredded boneless chicken
• Black beans
• Diced canned chiles
• Shredded cheese
• Tortillas

Just boil the chicken and shred it with beaters (it will save you tons of time!) Then open the cans of chiles and black beans, and stir them all together with the chicken in a huge bowl. Then pile a blob of the mix into a tortilla, add some cheese, and wrap it up! I wrap my burritos in foil for the freezer, but I'm trying to find a less wasteful method, so if anyone knows one, send it my way!

Y'all should try it and tell me what you think! Or come up with another recipe (this was all my own from what I know I like) and send it to me. I love food, so help a blonde out ok?

I have found a new love, it is latin dancing. My friend Ginene took me last weekend at a place here in town. I have turned down a few invites to go latin dancing from her before because I was nervous to make a fool of myself. I mean have you seen me? I've got super long pencil arms... they have a mind of their own and this mind doesn't include a graceful ability or the sultry skills that latinas are born with. I can't even shimmy without shaking my hips on accident too. It then turns into something like a full body seizure. Naturally, you can see why I avoid any dances involving the word sexy. Most of my dance moves consist of acting like a nerd doing the robot, or a full body flail.

So anyway, we get there and some of her friends are there, and a couple of her really cute latino friends spent the rest of the night teaching me my newfound latin moves! It was great! I've always loved salsa music, and I love mexican food, so I guess it's a given I'd love latin dancing too. I think my dancing friends were just Casanovas, because some of their lines consisted of "Did you used to take ballroom, you seem like a natural!", or after smashing his toes, "No that's my fault, I put my foot under yours." Yeah, and I always say that when someone smashes my foot too. "I apologize for running my face into your fist, I feel horrible for making you punch me."

Also, in other news, I may have found a job. I'm excited! They seem like a fun company, and I start next week. Double thumbs up for me! Not to say my job hunt didn't take forever and have weirdos in it. I mean what's with the old guy still living his high school basketball glory days who after asking if I was single and after I told him what I like to do for fun, then proceeds to eye me up and down and guess audibly if I'm one of "those crazy girls". I'm going to guess his definition of crazy meant freaky (or kinky), which also means I threw up in my mouth and cried inside a little. I'm also going to guess when he achieves something amazing at work he smashes the nearest office nerd into the nearest cubicle wall and yells, "O'DOYLE RULES!", and does the air guitar for an extra effect.

....what happens to females in their early 20's when they're stuck in a car all week instead of laying on a beach because it's freezing in "sunny southern California", here is a simple explanation by way of video.

This is what happens to Andrea.


This is what happens to Ginene.


And finally... this is what happens to me.

I know not very many people know about my deep dark secret that I am shedding light on today. I think it's because I'm afraid people will judge my skills and I'll feel stupid when they realize I'm not a genius at what I'm about to tell you. Here goes...

I love to play the piano, and wish I had one everyday.

There. I said it! Not very many of my friends and family ever get to hear me play. My bishopric has heard me on many occasions plinking away for hours after our church meetings are over. For the longest time I would sneak into a room and stop as soon as someone came in to listen. Lately though I'll leave the door open, or just keep playing when someone peeks in. I think even my best friends have never heard me play.

One thing I wish I could do that I have yet to be able to, is make up songs. I need to read sheet music to play anything because I've forgotten all my chords and theory to be able to just sit down and knock out random music. But I will give myself credit. I can play most things written down. I was given the talent of sight reading. I have lots of sheet music and usually keep my entire sheet music collection in my trunk so I can use it whenever I find a free piano.

The latest idea I've had and I only share this because I want to be comfortable with this instead of hiding it too, is I want to learn how to sing and play at the same time. I don't profess to be a good singer, I don't know if I like my voice, or if anyone else will either. I do know however that I am able to carry a tune fairly well and I am the daughter of a woman whose voice could be mistaken for Karen Carpenter's so maybe there's some talent hidden in there somewhere! But don't ever expect to hear Mariah Carey's high notes come out of me. I'm an alto, and low soprano, and I'm shy. Why am I sharing all this you ask?

Because I'm teaching myself to sing and play the song above. I can't promise I'll ever sound good, and no I won't be adding my rendition of her song to Youtube for all my "fans". I just wanted to tell people so I can't pretend I wasn't given a talent that I'm hiding.

But don't ask me to play in church. Hymns make me sound like I rarely play... for some reason they are excellent at jumbling my fingers and making me mess up, which for me is SUPER embarrassing, and I feel the need to say out loud "sorry", to which then I feel even dumber for feeling the need to apologize for hitting the wrong note. I have no idea why it embarrasses me... it just does.

A friend just sent me this picture while we were talking about the dating scene in Provo. This picture completely embodies one of my least favorite categories.... the PROVO GUY. Now keep in mind before you start to think I'm complaining, there are lots of nice guys around here. I'm not using this post to play the role of the angry dateless girl. I can't, I went on some nice dates this week!!!) I am using this post to describe this lovely man specimen I call TOOL, to you while it's fresh on my mind.

These are the type that will stroll up to a pretty young girl and with all the arrogance they can muster, try to win her over with his amazing sense of style (tight polo shirts, or a shirt that is tucked in just in the front), their quick wit (usually these jokes include several different uses of the words 'dude' and 'like', and a great reference to a rap song lyric or the latest episode of Rock Of Love).

Also he will impress you with his ability to multitask (talk to you and size up every other little gem of eye candy he sees and text someone else throughout the whole conversation), more than likely your conversation will also be interrupted with several sweet little phrases such as "Hey Heather, I love the way your pants fit today," or "Jessica, I missed you last night." These little phrases show you just how sweet and caring he is, to always be making sure all the other girls in his life are ok too.

Another great thing is, he's such a forward thinker, he'll have you call him, because he's being considerate and not wanting you to waste any time having to say "I'm not free tonight, but I am Wednesday." We are not in the 1950's anymore, girls should totally call guys whenever they want!

Provo Guys are so wonderful, they are the best any girl can find. So please, when you're dating, go for this guy, and not the sweet guy that's invading your space by asking you out in person. That's just SO awkward, who wants someone like that? OMG! HELLO, that is so inconsiderate, what if you want to say no?!

Please examine this labeled picture to make sure you know how to recognize one when you see him. Don't let him out of your sight girls! Do whatever it takes to snare this little hottie. You'll want to click the picture to make it larger. There are labels that you need to see to know what to look for. Happy Tool Shopping! :)

I know this probably won't make any sense to any of you who don't hang out with me on a regular basis, but sometimes I say things after a long chain of thought that no one understands because I naturally assume they could hear the rapid fire succession of thoughts that just occurred in my brain in around .2 seconds.

Here is an example of what these chains of thought look like. I'll see a book on a table and think "That book is called "Drugs and Modern Behavior" --> I have that class --> some people have no class -->I wear a backpack to class --> backpack! (as in Dora the Explorer - a show I watched randomly when my little brothers were small) --> Dora is from Mexico --> Mexico isn't in the U.S. -->Alaska is in the U.S. --> Baked Alaska!

This actually didn't happen in that exact order but somehow over the past few days I keep thinking of Baked Alaska. I didn't even know what it is, but somehow the words popped into my head and wouldn't leave. I have no idea where I heard this phrase either. I said the phrase to some friends of mine who I'm sure are used to my randomness because they didn't even flinch when such a weird phrase came out of my mouth the other night.

So I'm going to let you all know that I now know what Baked Alaska is. However I had to think for a while. I assumed it was food, but let's get creative. It could be a section of Alaska where most people are high on a regular basis, or... ok that's really the only random thought that I came up with about what it could be.

Here's the wikipedia definition. Honestly, I know you've all been dying to know what it is, and I am so glad to get this out of my brain. I've been wondering what Baked Alaska was for about 7 days now. So here you go, and I'm finally at peace.

Baked Alaska (also known as glace au four, omelette à la norvégienne, Norwegian omelette and omelette surprise) is a dessert made of ice cream placed in a pie dish lined with slices of sponge cake or Christmas pudding and topped with meringue. The entire dessert is then placed in an extremely hot oven for just long enough to firm the meringue. The meringue is an effective insulator, and the short cooking time prevents the heat from getting through to the ice cream.

I have no idea why this was necessary, I only know that now I am not saying Baked Alaska to myself in the car and while I am cleaning my shower. I did that about 5 minutes ago and it was enough to urge me to google it, and then write a blog about it. So there you have it! Now you understand just how random I can be.

Now... who wants to come over this weekend and we can attempt to bake ice cream?