I decided that since I only said one thing (my eurotrip) when my grandpa asked us to all tell what we're thankful for over Thanksgiving Dinner last Thursday, I need to declare to everyone what I'm grateful for right now. Despite the fact that my trip is going to be the best part of 2010, it is not the only awesome thing in my life.

1. My family. This year I've done a lot of thinking/soul searching and I realize one thing. My family, despite its imperfections, is one of the best I could ask for. In my family I have been blessed with some of the best people I know and I love them more than anything.

2. My girlfriends. They are the most beautiful and amazing women on the face of this earth. They have all faced some really tough adversity and come out on top. I don't think I could ever be where I am without their friendship and their positive example of what it means to be a woman in today's world. You can't top my friends, don't even try.... :) Which leads me to #3.

3. I have amazing male friends as well. They are really great men who aren't afraid to be... men. I am grateful to have these types of men in my life so I am able to not forget that wonderful, respectful, gentlemen do in fact exist. (Come on, I know that sentence tastes of bitterness, but you know my dating history!)

4. My job. I was having a really hard time getting hired despite the fact that I rarely had a problem getting jobs in the past. The job market was too saturated with prospects. One interview I went to had over 50 interviews, and 200 resumes for the position. Bleh... But I got hired here and it's been an amazing opportunity since day 1. I am constantly learning. I love that!

5. MUSIC. Music affects me in so many ways. It is extremely powerful. It can make me feel amazing and fearless, or bring me to tears. Also the ability I have to read sheet music, and play the piano is a blessing to my life. When I'm feeling anxious, stressed out or angry, I can go play the piano, and it will take my focus off what is bothering me in about 3 minutes. Most of my dates can attest to the fact (although they didn't know this is why) that I'm always playing the piano when a date arrives. It calms my nerves.

6. These are going to be random, but bear with me - leggings (or the nopants pants) because they make me feel so COMFORTABLE like I'm not wearing any pants!, pickles for always helping me find a delicious snack, strawberry lemonade powerade for always helping me feel better when I'm sick, and photographs because they provide a window into the past. I never get sick of looking at old photos of family, friends, myself...

7. The healing power of God and time. If any of you have ever been knocked to your knees by something in your life so suddenly that you didn't have time to prepare for the hardship, you only had to deal with it, you'll know what I mean. There is something amazing about the healing power that God (and time) can bring. At the beginning, or even in the middle of the hardship you feel there is no light at the end of the tunnel. There are just more and more bricks being piled on to your stack even though you've already collapsed and the stack is now burying and suffocating you. But something amazing happens if you keep doing what you need to do, and let God take over the rest. You wake up one day and realize... life is taking the bricks back from your stack or giving you a forklift to move them. I love that this happens, and how weightless you feel when it does.

8. People with patience. I believe patience is a telltale sign of someone that has a large capacity to love and trust. These types of people have a contagious positive energy. I love being around them, and I feel by being around them they will wear off on me.

9. My capacity to get things done. I have never failed at something I've truly wanted to do. I may not have been a champion, but I have NOT failed. I have only failed when I gave up, or never tried. I took up running (an activity I never used to desire and actually wouldn't accept money to do) and now I like it. GO FIGURE.

10. Last on my short list tonight is my heater. It is extremely cold outside, yet I'm in here, barefoot without a fireplace, and although my feet are cold, I will not have to cut them off tomorrow because of frostbite. I wish I could find a home for all the homeless people in the cold tonight.

Well that is a short list even though I'm thankful for so much more than this. The holidays tend to remind me just how great I have it. I love this time of year. My thoughts always turn to what is really important in life. The older I get the more I find it hard to be in stores at this time of year. What I really value isn't something I can put a price on. I get really annoyed with how materialistic Christmas has become. Sure it's fun to get new things for Christmas but for the next 30 days, all we're going to hear about is SHOP! SHOP! SHOP!

I just want to surround myself with the people that mean the most to me, drink some hot cocoa and listen to Christmas music. Yep, I'm a sentimental, but I'm not ashamed!

Anyway... here's a favorite Christmas song of mine. I kind of really love how cheesy the beginning is. Old movies are awesome that way. I hope you enjoy it!

Oh and... 4 more days til EUROTRIP! AAAAAAaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! Can't wait!

I haven't laughed like that in probably a couple of years.

The coolest/weirdest part of it was.... I was sitting here all by myself on my bed. I'm pretty sure my roommates think I'm a spaz for laughing so hard alone in my room at 11 pm, while they try to go to sleep. Oh well... at least I'm not yelling at everyone I know on the phone all day like SOMEONE I know. Laughter is a good sleep interrupting sound, yelling F bombs is NOT. And neither is clearing your throat like a small yapping dog.

Oh and... maybe there's still time to make me eat these words but -- WORST SNOW STORM IN 7 YEARS MY EYE! I think there's a light dusting of snow on the roofs in my neighborhood, and the ground is wet. I'm so glad we were kept in suspense all day for a HUGE DEADLY MONSTER HEADING OUR WAY TRYING TO KILL US WITH IT'S ICY DEATH GRIP! I'm actually relieved though. I hate feeling like I'm in a bumper cars track when I drive in the winter.

Anyway, goodnight. I feel so good after laughing. I want to do that again, someone make me laugh like that again tomorrow ok?

Don't you know what that means? Well... let me fill you in on my little secret then. It means.... BEST WEDNESDAY OF THE YEAR!!! Do you want to know why it was?

Andrea, Me, Ashley

Me, Ashley

As expected, Gravity made me get a little teary. If you've never heard her perform this live... you're in for a treat. Here's a video of her performing this. I wish I'd been able to record it from our concert, but my camera died before she came on stage. Too bad, we had a great spot right by the stage!

And Let It Rain for those of you who haven't heard it:

Yep... I'm a creepy fan. And I'm not ashamed!

I know, your jaw just hit the floor too, right?!

I can't even wrinkle my forehead, but STILL HAVE ONE by my mouth. I'm totally ok with getting old and having a wrinkly face. In fact I wish women were ok with having wrinkles once they are old, it should be a sign of wisdom and elderly beauty. Screw getting a facelift! Just brag about your grandkids! I love the old women I know personally. They have let themselves get old looking, and I appreciate that. Because I think our society should allow women to age. They deserve it after what kids do to you.

All this aside, I kind of thought my first wrinkle would come with my first gray hair, and probably at the same time as my first child wearing me out since we all know how much I love the sound of crying babies (I don't...). I hate the sound mostly because it breaks my heart, and also because it stresses me out. I'm sure when they're my kids I'll handle it much better, but since they're not, I can walk away from the sound and leave them with their mom. YES!

ANYWAY... back to the matter at hand. For years I've chewed my cheeks. To do this I have to bite the inside of my mouth by twisting my face to the side. Tons of people have this habit, and I love catching people doing the same weird thing to their face that I can't seem to stop doing with mine! But this move creases your face in the same spot every time, and if you've had this habit since you were a kid it's going to wrinkle eventually. Reminds me of that dumb saying, "Don't do that or your face will get stuck that way."

Bad news about that supposedly silly saying... IT'S RIGHT! Grrrr......

So... I bought my first legit wrinkle cream today. I say it's better to start using it now and prevent the wrinkles from coming, than start later in life when they are big huge rain gutters on my face. (That gave me a gross visual... bleh!)

I guess it's time to start aging gracefully!

I have a feeling I'm going to hear it from my family and friends that are older than I am. 10 bucks says they call me a crybaby!

Am I excited?

SO MUCH I MIGHT PEE MY PANTS!

Am I nervous?

You bet your boots I am.

Does anyone else get travel anxiety besides me?

Listen to the lyrics, they are really sweet and simple, and my favorite part starts about halfway through when the songs tempo speeds up!

I would like you all to take a look at this picture. Examine it. Take 5 minutes to just soak it all in. Ready? GO.....

I HOPE YOU CRINGED.

Anyway, a passion of mine has led to many ideas, and many negative internal comments telling me to not waste my time. But here we go people. I'm starting to hatch this baby idea, and see if it will grow into the dinosaur of greatness that I see it as in my head.

The only problem with this is, I'm terrified that this dream I've had for over a year now will crumble into nothing, and reality will show that my dream is no longer possible.

I feel strangely vulnerable, so much so that I won't tell you what my dream is yet. Not until I have completed a tiny section of it.

In other news on the awesome front... I'm going to Rome & Florence, Italy and Paris, France in 32 days! And I just want you to know that I'm freaking out with excitement, anxiety, and curiosity of the unknown. I've always wanted to do this, and refuse to let anything stand in my way. Including my own stupid travel anxieties. Yep... I have those. I was talking to a friend recently about my trip and she said, "Awesome Lana! This is so out of your character!"

The comment at first stung a little, because I envy the fearless people in this world, who either face everything as if it is not scary, or they really aren't scared. I always have wanted to be like them. But then I realized something... she was telling me I'm just like those people I wanted to be, because I'm doing something that scares me.

Life is good. I feel so lucky, and for the first time in my life... I have patience.

It's amazing what time will do for you, if you let it.