The title of this post is one of my favorite hymns. It's short, sweet and speaks of how I feel on a regular basis. Utah is full of beauty everywhere I look -- the mountains in any given season, the valleys, and the sunsets. We truly live in a beautiful state. While driving home from my parents' house to ours after Thanksgiving, my husband and I encountered the below scenes. Excuse the poor quality pictures, we were driving in crazy holiday traffic so they are all through the car windows. Also note, there is no filter.

God is a master artist.

I like to spend time on the TED.com website every now and then. I chose to watch videos under the "courageous" section tonight and I found this.



I felt like sharing this because I have friends and family who are, or have been, in a relationship like this. Maybe not as violent, maybe more violent. I feel it is a very important subject that should never be taboo.

So... Why do women stay?

I have never been physically abused by a person who I was dating or related to. But, I have been emotionally abused. I used to say, "I would never stay if I was treated like that." But the truth is... I was, and the truth is, I stayed for 2 years. I have friends and family who have been physically beaten by the person that swore to love them.  I may have friends who are too wrapped up in "crazy love" to realize what is happening to them yet, or some that can't tell anyone yet but ache to be relieved of this burden.

One of my friends opened up to me a while ago about their violent marriage, and aside from being shocked because I knew them both fairly well, I felt like a terrible friend for never seeing any signs and helping them earlier. The truth is, this is more common than some of us think. And friends, if you need to talk to someone, you can talk to me. I will not judge you, or think you are weak. But I will listen and try to help you get out.

I, thankfully, got out and found that I was worthy of kind, good, loving men. My husband is strong, and can fight a good fight with the best of them, but he would NEVER abuse me in any way. I am so grateful to know that he is my protector, and that I am safe with him emotionally and physically. I hope that we can all find that.

Nobody deserves to be battered.

http://carlbakerlandscaper.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/wildflower-meadow.jpg

Tonight I feel very reflective, contemplative, inquisitive and explorative. I know, it's a lot. This happens on occasion. I've been thinking a lot about what makes each of us important, valuable, beautiful, and of great worth?

Is it our religious beliefs or lack thereof? Is it our talents, or lack thereof? Is it our ability to work hard, or not work at all? Is it having this hair style and these clothes, or not caring at all what anyone is wearing or who made what? Is it saying these things, or saying what you're not supposed to?

I think a lot about this lately, and I can only answer those questions this way... you are important because you are. You are valuable because you are.
You are.

I wonder often how my mom feels when she looks in the mirror and doesn't see the person she has known, but sees a new form of herself she never expected to see. Hairless, fatigued, and whatever else she feels. But that's not her... she is the strongest person I know and every time I see or think of her, I am reminded of what amazing stock I came from. Her life is what makes her, well, her. Your life is what makes you, well, you.

Sometimes it seems as if our world is designed to wreck us, but there are so many beautiful things out there that can keep that from happening. One of my favorite quotes that I've had since I was 16 (that wretched time of life when fitting in is all that seems to matter) was perfectly said by E. E. Cummings:

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you like everyone else, is the hardest battle you can fight--never stop fighting."

This couldn't be more relevant to me than it is now. I know this is the transcendentalist in me talking, but I don't see the point in being another way. People are all inherently good, some have just forgotten their value, or how to be the good that they were.  There are so many different types of people in this world, and when I stop and think about all the cultures, and appearances, and colors, and dialects... it all just makes me feel grateful. Grateful that I can be here with the opportunity to experience all of this beautiful diversity. We are all valuable because we were all created, every single one of us.

Who can really say whether art isn't art? Therefore, who can really say whether beauty isn't beauty or whether something isn't valuable?

I'm no connoisseur of woman's beauty products, and I wouldn't even call myself that experienced. I kind of suck at remembering to even put on lotion until my skin looks cracked or it itches. So, naturally I don't spend a lot on finding the right beauty products. I heard about a company called Birchbox through a friend's blog and I decided to give it a try. You can sign up for the random sampling box that comes once a month and it's only $10. A lot of it is beauty product samples, with some cool things thrown in here and there. So I thought hey, a bunch of cool products to test out for only $10 a month? I can spare $10.

The first box that came was only so so, but it was still cool. I got some tea samples from a new tea company, some black eye liner, some sunscreen for my face, a hair conditioning mask sample, and a couple other things.

This time I loved ALL of the items I got.

Here's a picture of the box and all it's contents.

2 nautical hair ties, a small tub of facial cleanser, a tube of hot pink lipstick, a bright minty nail polish, perfume sample, another hair product, and a pack of postcards that are lovely.

I am loving this box this time. The pink lipstick is super bright but I'm pretty sure I could rock it if I had on the right outfit. The nail polish color is super cute, and the perfume smells like pretty flowers. I am loving the postcards too. This particular box for June was designed with summer in mind.

They also have men's boxes that have really cool men's products in them. I can't wait to test all this stuff out, and see what comes in July!

You can also order anything you want from their website, and order full size versions of the samples they send too.

Check 'em out at http://www.birchbox.com/!

Right before brain surgery

So... my mom only has 2 more weeks of her awful radiation and chemotherapy sessions, and then she gets a much needed break. She'll get to go home and be with our family that are still living there, and be where she belongs and get to rest! It's been hard watching her do the hard thing, and go through treatment. It has been a battle for her for sure, and there are times where I know she feels like quitting because it is a huge burden to bear. Chemotherapy and radiation are killing treatments. They are not designed to make you feel better while doing them. They are designed to kill cancer. My mom is an inspiration, even if she's not trying to be one. She is tough, and driven, and amazing. She is one of a kind, and I thank God everyday for watching over her always.

Thank you for all of your prayers, and help. Thank you for driving her to and from her home each Friday so she can spend 48 hours where she lives before she starts treatment again on Mondays. Thank you for making dinners for my stepdad, and brothers and sister. Thank you for your words of encouragement and your hugs! Thank you for loving my mom, and our family.

These past 2 months I've spent a lot of time in prayer, or contemplation. Justin has helped me through sad days, and I'm so grateful for him. I am so thankful that our Savior, Jesus, atoned for the heartaches of this world, so that I could know I'm never alone in challenges, and that all of those around me are never alone in theirs. It boggles my mind to understand the concept of the atonement, but the more life I live, and the more pain people I love go through, I am ever grateful that someone was willing to say, "Here am I, send me. I will suffer for them."

Cancer is a stupid worthless thing, but it has reminded me of what's truly important, and that is family and loved ones.  I am so grateful to know that while everything else in this life disappears or ends, we never can lose who we are, or who we love. It's such a beautiful design. I'm reminded of the scripture in the New Testament of the Bible, in Matthew 6:19-20,

"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal, For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also"

I found a song on my playlist of "unlistened to songs" that I go through from time to time. It is by Greg Laswell, the lyrics are sad, but the song is beautiful and has stirred up emotions in me, related to my mom's cancer, the few times I listened to it over the past little while. The first time I heard it was while driving to the hospital to visit her the day before her brain tumor surgery. Needless to say, I ended up in full blown tears. Also, this video I found for it on Youtube is beautiful. Whoever did the animation is a genius.



Let me know what you think of the song, my writing, or anything in general. :)

Hey guys, it's me again. You know what's fun? Well, lots of things, but one thing in particular is that my husband today called me "a hard 10". He told me I'm the whole package. I think I shall carry this sweet little compliment around with me for days, maybe even weeks! Who am I kidding, it's a phenomenal compliment! If he were in an olympic competition for complimenting people, I'd give him the world record!

I'm definitely a words of affirmation type of person, and compliments like this really hang with me. Isn't that awesome? I'd say I'm the luckiest girl on the planet.

What a babe. I'm a lucky girl.

Hey everyone... I sometimes contribute to the Embodyed blog (you know the one about bodies and self -esteem... totally worth checking out) and the simplest post caught my eye.

The title was "You don't have to be pretty", and the only thing written in the body was "you knew that right?" and it linked to the following blog post about pretty.

You must read it. Men seem to get this. Women seem to feel their life must be the total opposite. If you read anything today, read this. (Click the highlighted text). I can't believe how perfectly written this post is. I feel like it is the truth. Everything else the media and world tell you is a lie.