I like to spend time on the TED.com website every now and then. I chose to watch videos under the "courageous" section tonight and I found this.



I felt like sharing this because I have friends and family who are, or have been, in a relationship like this. Maybe not as violent, maybe more violent. I feel it is a very important subject that should never be taboo.

So... Why do women stay?

I have never been physically abused by a person who I was dating or related to. But, I have been emotionally abused. I used to say, "I would never stay if I was treated like that." But the truth is... I was, and the truth is, I stayed for 2 years. I have friends and family who have been physically beaten by the person that swore to love them.  I may have friends who are too wrapped up in "crazy love" to realize what is happening to them yet, or some that can't tell anyone yet but ache to be relieved of this burden.

One of my friends opened up to me a while ago about their violent marriage, and aside from being shocked because I knew them both fairly well, I felt like a terrible friend for never seeing any signs and helping them earlier. The truth is, this is more common than some of us think. And friends, if you need to talk to someone, you can talk to me. I will not judge you, or think you are weak. But I will listen and try to help you get out.

I, thankfully, got out and found that I was worthy of kind, good, loving men. My husband is strong, and can fight a good fight with the best of them, but he would NEVER abuse me in any way. I am so grateful to know that he is my protector, and that I am safe with him emotionally and physically. I hope that we can all find that.

Nobody deserves to be battered.

So, Utah is in a bit of a drought and several cities are restricting water usage to prevent from drying up the wells.

Well, this morning as I watched the below video, I think I cried enough tears to fill them back up. This video has been circulating through the Mormon boards on Pinterest. I have been meaning to watch it since Jeffrey R. Holland always knows the right things to say. I am so glad I made time for it this morning. I needed this message more than I can say. I hope that you take the 45 minutes to hear the full message. God loves us, and will help us triumph over our adversities. Life is hard sometimes. Sometimes it's not just hard, it's miserable or scary or agonizing or terrible. I am thankful to know I have help when those times come.

When my mom was about to have her brain surgery in March, I was a bit of a mess. I sought refuge in the scriptures because I have found they calm me down when I feel anxious. During this time, I stumbled upon this scripture:

D&C 121:7-8 "My son [or daughter], peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes."

I have read and reread this scripture many nights since I found it. It has become one of my favorites through the hardships that come and go. I know that we are never left alone to rot in our own "liberty jails", and that God is with us and will help us triumph over our foes that life brings up. If you have any extra time, please watch the video. I promise you won't regret it.

So, I've heard a billion times that marriage is rough because of the ability to miscommunicate or do or say the wrong thing.

Honestly, I thought everyone just needed to try harder (before I got married). Now I realize there are 2 sides to every story. Watch this video, then proceed.



Sometimes, I feel sorry for men because they have to marry women, and we are bonkers crazy. But I also feel sorry for women because we have to marry men, and we can't go to them like we can our girlfriends. If you go to a guy, you need to know they'll just give you a solution, and women are the queens of not needing a solution, just needing to get their feelings out so they can move on from emotional outburst land.

Case in point - I vented to a guy I was dating once about a girl I was friends with that was being a royal pain in the butt... his response was "So stop hanging out with her." My expected response from him was, "WHAT A B-WORD HOW DARE SHE SAY THAT ABOUT YOU!" So naturally, he and I got in a fight...because who cares if he's right, RIGHT? It's hard to remember though when I talk to Justin about things that he is rarely ever going to say, "I'm sorry that must be hard for you." His usual response is, "Want me to punch them out for you?"(Solution oriented.)

Although, in this particular Youtube example, I can't think of one of my girlfriends who wouldn't be like, "Yeah that must be really painful and annoying, day in and day out, with those headaches. But here, let me pull out that nail and it should go away. There all better, let's get some ice cream and do our nails. Also you're hotter than any other girls, and you have better style, and are funnier." (Validation of my feelings first, solution next, followed by a pick me up activity and a major compliment fest to finish the deal.) Yeah, it takes a lot of work, and women just naturally know how to do this.

So I guess the moral of the story is, girls need girlfriends so they can vent properly, and guys need to fix things. It's just the way we all are.

The other moral of the story is, women are, in fact, crazy. And I live in Womanland, so I know... but guys wouldn't be alive if we weren't here, so I'm sorry guys, you have to deal with us.

The End.

Right before brain surgery

So... my mom only has 2 more weeks of her awful radiation and chemotherapy sessions, and then she gets a much needed break. She'll get to go home and be with our family that are still living there, and be where she belongs and get to rest! It's been hard watching her do the hard thing, and go through treatment. It has been a battle for her for sure, and there are times where I know she feels like quitting because it is a huge burden to bear. Chemotherapy and radiation are killing treatments. They are not designed to make you feel better while doing them. They are designed to kill cancer. My mom is an inspiration, even if she's not trying to be one. She is tough, and driven, and amazing. She is one of a kind, and I thank God everyday for watching over her always.

Thank you for all of your prayers, and help. Thank you for driving her to and from her home each Friday so she can spend 48 hours where she lives before she starts treatment again on Mondays. Thank you for making dinners for my stepdad, and brothers and sister. Thank you for your words of encouragement and your hugs! Thank you for loving my mom, and our family.

These past 2 months I've spent a lot of time in prayer, or contemplation. Justin has helped me through sad days, and I'm so grateful for him. I am so thankful that our Savior, Jesus, atoned for the heartaches of this world, so that I could know I'm never alone in challenges, and that all of those around me are never alone in theirs. It boggles my mind to understand the concept of the atonement, but the more life I live, and the more pain people I love go through, I am ever grateful that someone was willing to say, "Here am I, send me. I will suffer for them."

Cancer is a stupid worthless thing, but it has reminded me of what's truly important, and that is family and loved ones.  I am so grateful to know that while everything else in this life disappears or ends, we never can lose who we are, or who we love. It's such a beautiful design. I'm reminded of the scripture in the New Testament of the Bible, in Matthew 6:19-20,

"Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal, For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also"

I found a song on my playlist of "unlistened to songs" that I go through from time to time. It is by Greg Laswell, the lyrics are sad, but the song is beautiful and has stirred up emotions in me, related to my mom's cancer, the few times I listened to it over the past little while. The first time I heard it was while driving to the hospital to visit her the day before her brain tumor surgery. Needless to say, I ended up in full blown tears. Also, this video I found for it on Youtube is beautiful. Whoever did the animation is a genius.



Let me know what you think of the song, my writing, or anything in general. :)

So if you can't tell I'm excited!!!

And here's why.

My photographer posted a bunch of our wedding photos on her blog. That means I get them from her soon, and I'm really excited!

To see them, click HERE to view them on her blog.

They are lovely, and I love looking at them over and over and thinking what a crazy day that was in my life. I love love, and I love Mr. Awesome, and I love being Mrs. Awesome, and I loved my wedding, and I love my photos!

Happy Thursday, indeed!


Also, I know tons of you are sad you didn't get to watch our amazing slideshow at our reception. So guess what?! I am sharing it RIGHT HERE. I know what you're thinking, "HOW DOES IT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS? This girl's blog has everything I could ever want, I can die happy!"

Well, don't die yet, but you can after you watch the most amazing slideshow in existence. Actually wait, scratch that. Leave a comment and keep reading my blog each week because I'd prefer my readers didn't die. I like you.

Here's the slideshow.

I feel like this donkey.

Today is a Saturday. And I've never been more excited about that in MONTHS. My weeks lately are a little crazy. I am training two people in my department, and usually we only train one at a time. Let's just say our "all-caught-up-ness" turned into "seven-days-behind-ness" in a matter of roughly 3 days. The good thing is... training doesn't last forever. It's just crazy... people looking from the outside in on my department think we're just peacefully getting our jobs done. BUT. If you were actually the people IN my department it would look something like this:

(no we're not on drugs... but I know we wish we were with how much we have to do lately just to stay afloat. This is just how our jobs feel at the moment.)



It's pretty crazy, just as we get done with something... and clean our desks off of the 500 kabillion contracts/folders/post-its... 5 minutes later it looks like a tornado hit. We're hanging in there, but this week has not been my favorite.

Aside from all that chaos, I then leave work and spend an hour on the phone with my mom discussing wedding stuff, 30 minutes with Justin doing the same thing, or an hour on the phone with a car insurance company trying to get them to claim liability for the accident one of their "policy holders" caused. I've been trying to get them to claim liability since early July. But... what can I expect? The people who hit me had falsified insurance cards, and an expired driver's license (lucky woman didn't even get a ticket, and I got a damaged car and a month of frustration so far). After a month of yelling at the insurance people to figure something out since their policy holder won't answer the phone/emails/letters they sent, Justin finds out the guy DOES exist... he's just been home in Chile for a month and a half... and the people that hit me are related to him and use his policy (*cough* illegal *cough*). Hopefully this gets resolved this week.

WHAT.

A.

MESS.

Then... after that's done, I either take care of wedding stuff by myself (or with Justin) until I decide I need to go to bed.

Just when I thought it was safe to finally take 5 minutes to myself for the first time this week.... I get texts from my boss on a Saturday morning about stuff I can't fix on a Saturday.

It's officially time to crank up the loud music, ignore my cell phone and play around. (Or go check out florists since I am getting married a month out and still don't have flowers ordered or anything... AND THEN PLAY TIME IS HAPPENING!)

This song will be the first one I turn up really loud. Found it on Spotify this week... and put it on repeat.  Then I created a station based on it. Because it made me feel energy which I desperately needed!



What about you? What do you do to deal with chaos?