I hope you all had a blast on Valentine's day last weekend. It was nice that it ended up being on a Friday. MUCH easier for romancing the night away!

Justin and I aren't huge celebrators of Valentine's day, so we just got each other some simple gifts, and had planned to do something silly that night, like go to the family trampoline gym. He had to go out of town for some stuff the night before and had to take our only car. He was on his way back on Valentine's day when our car just stopped shifting gears, and wouldn't go above 2nd gear. This is kind of a huge problem when you live in a driving state. He called a local tow company, and they wouldn't be able to get our car home until Saturday due to the busy Valentine's holiday. They did have a loaner car he could use, so he said he'd borrow that so he could get the rest of the way home.

The car was incredible... or not. When he finally was on the road again, he called me to tell me he was more scared to drive that car than our car with engine trouble. One of the headlights was out, the car rattled like crazy and creaked like the axles would fall off at highway speeds. It was windy and he said it felt like the car couldn't fight back against the wind. It also was filthy everywhere you looked. Not just a little dirty, but like YEARS of grime and filth that came off on his clothes. But hey, when you're in a bind you will drive whatever you can!

So we 're in the process of trying to find out what is wrong with our car. We couldn't get it into a mechanic over the weekend because the towing company delivered it 8 hours later than promised. I seriously want to dispute the charge from our payment, but I'm still debating it. Just NEVER use A-1 Towing in central Utah. They are terrible at managing their customers. We had to call them like 5 or 6 times just to get them to communicate with us about where our car was and when it would be delivered Then they kept calling to ask if they could deliver it to a random place that wasn't anywhere near our home.

We secretly hoped they'd just ruin my car so we could get a new one for practically free! But alas, they delivered it in one piece. HA!

Right now we're renting a Jeep Compass (free upgrade when the rental place was out of compacts...SCORE!) to get around and it is super nice. I'm actually tempted to buy one of these soon and get rid of my car that I've had for 5 years.

Anyhow, this little beater loaner car was so funny. It has well over 200,000 miles on it and is super beat up. It made me feel like we were on a date in sophomore year of highschool. We did a late night run to Mickey D's and giggled the whole time about how fun it was when we were both 15 to even have a friend with a car, it didn't even matter if it was a disgusting, dangerous beast of a car.

I love our stressful, silly adventures. Let's hope the expenses to fix our car are not terrible.

I'm kind of kicking myself right now for not trading in my car 2 months ago when Justin and I were thinking of buying a new one. Where's Alanis Morrisette when I need her? This story should be in one of her songs. "It's a dropped transmission, when you could've had a new car, and isn't it ironic, don't ya think?"

We call her Blue Thunder. Ain't she a beauty? (His face speaks volumes about how he feels.)

You know what sucks? When you say the words "I NEVER". Somehow the universe hears you, and it immediately stops what it is doing, to commit all its efforts into proving you wrong. I think the universe gets off on making us eat those two words for breakfast like they are a big bowl of Alphabits. (Those use to be my favorite cereal growing up... you can spell swear words and giggle and your mom will not know!)

One time I said, "I've never crashed a car." The next day I nearly totaled my car. Apparently old steel-frame Chevy trucks are just like brick walls when a tiny Toyota Corolla hits them.

Steel-frame Chevy & Universe = 1, Lana = Sorry I ever said anything.

So, why didn't I learn from this stupid lesson? The word never should disappear from my vocabulary, but it hasn't.

Justin does his own laundry, which I love, but sometimes we fight over who gets to use the washing machine. I needed to do laundry and so did he, so I told him we could just do our laundry together. I gave him this whole speech about how I NEVER ruin clothes. EVER. IT JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN. So if he would just stop being OCD about his clothes, I would wash them and he'd see that I am still the coolest wife in the world, and both our clothes would be clean at the same time.

So what happened? The UNIVERSE.

DAMN UNIVERSE.

I shrunk not one of his shirts, but ALL of his shirts. How many, you ask? ALL OF THEM. I also shrunk all my pajama pants, and half of my tshirts. And let me tell you, those tshirts are my prized posessions. The items of clothing that never feel awkward on me, and just feel right every time I wear them. You know, the cute little loose fitting, one chest pocket, come in every color of the rainbow, so I bought all of them at one time and never regretted it. The kind that go with everything.

Hmph.

I'm going to go ahead insert my face into my palm right now.

Justin is loving this sweet little turn of events. We got to go to Target and buy him a whole new wardrobe. I'm still afraid to try on my shirts. I don't want to be even more disappointed. I HATE RUINING CLOTHES. I'm still sulking a little bit over it. I keep praying that they won't be ruined and that when I finally try one on it will be just like old times. (They're discontinued where I bought them, so it's even better.)

Who is the best wife ever? Me, if giving you ammo to tease me for the rest of our lives counts as best wife ever. He told me I could shrink all his pants, too, so we can buy him a bunch of new jeans.

Well Universe... you win.

Universe = 2, Lana = ASHAMED OF MYSELF.

At least he got a great outfit out of it (he looks so dreamy and stylin'!), and I got a shirt that will make you all sing a song you're sick of singing. You're welcome!

They say never go to bed angry.
They say never get a king size bed.

Some say in order to stay together you should never keep secrets.
Others say in order to stay together you have to have your own things.

Here's what I say:

If you don't go to bed angry you'll stay up until 3 am fighting. Because fighting when tired breeds more fighting, until neither of you even know what you're talking about and you're just fighting because you're tired.

A king size bed allows us to feel like we have all the space in the world to sleep without anybody waking the other up. And we both REALLY value our sleep, so we need this. However, every morning we wake up piled in the middle of our massive bed. So get a king size bed, and use the crap out of it. You'll still love each other, that is, if you loved each other already.

My last piece of advice is this:

The couple that laughs together, lasts together. Nothing gets you through life better than a good laugh.  Tell me the last time you didn't enjoy a good giggle fest, laugh-a-thon or giant guffaw.

You can't, because everyone enjoys laughing. It happens because you're happy. Even if you're laughing at the end of the worst possible day and it couldn't get any worse, you laugh because deep down inside, there's a tiny shred of you that can see that it is somehow going to be ok.

I think I'll open a clinic down the street dedicated to laughter therapy. And no one will have to pay unless I got them to chuckle at least a little.

I don't think we've gone a single day of our marriage without the tiniest of chuckles. No one appreciates my dad-like sense of humor like he does. And no one can get me to laugh until I can't breathe as often as he can. We're two peas in a giggling pod.  See for yourself below.

(Pardon the blurred photos. We aren't able to focus a camera whilst taking selfies. Yeah, I said whilst. I say whilst, when I'm feeling good. Must be all this laughter therapy going on.)

Happy first week of Summer! These super long days are my favorite. It isn't dark until 9:30 pm around here.  Isn't it the best time of year?

Since we're halfway to Christmas, I thought I'd celebrate by letting you read a story I wrote when I was 9. I was in 4th grade and we had to write a Christmas story, and then our teacher would compile them into a class book.

At this point in my life I was obviously deep into my crack addiction. You'll see just how bad it was after reading the story.  I was always one of the smarter kids in my classes, how on earth is THIS the story I wrote?

 What the???

So, I've heard a billion times that marriage is rough because of the ability to miscommunicate or do or say the wrong thing.

Honestly, I thought everyone just needed to try harder (before I got married). Now I realize there are 2 sides to every story. Watch this video, then proceed.



Sometimes, I feel sorry for men because they have to marry women, and we are bonkers crazy. But I also feel sorry for women because we have to marry men, and we can't go to them like we can our girlfriends. If you go to a guy, you need to know they'll just give you a solution, and women are the queens of not needing a solution, just needing to get their feelings out so they can move on from emotional outburst land.

Case in point - I vented to a guy I was dating once about a girl I was friends with that was being a royal pain in the butt... his response was "So stop hanging out with her." My expected response from him was, "WHAT A B-WORD HOW DARE SHE SAY THAT ABOUT YOU!" So naturally, he and I got in a fight...because who cares if he's right, RIGHT? It's hard to remember though when I talk to Justin about things that he is rarely ever going to say, "I'm sorry that must be hard for you." His usual response is, "Want me to punch them out for you?"(Solution oriented.)

Although, in this particular Youtube example, I can't think of one of my girlfriends who wouldn't be like, "Yeah that must be really painful and annoying, day in and day out, with those headaches. But here, let me pull out that nail and it should go away. There all better, let's get some ice cream and do our nails. Also you're hotter than any other girls, and you have better style, and are funnier." (Validation of my feelings first, solution next, followed by a pick me up activity and a major compliment fest to finish the deal.) Yeah, it takes a lot of work, and women just naturally know how to do this.

So I guess the moral of the story is, girls need girlfriends so they can vent properly, and guys need to fix things. It's just the way we all are.

The other moral of the story is, women are, in fact, crazy. And I live in Womanland, so I know... but guys wouldn't be alive if we weren't here, so I'm sorry guys, you have to deal with us.

The End.

So... Tuesday I turned 29. WOW... I am almost 30! It's super crazy to think about. My husband took great care of me, throwing me a barbecue (my favorite birthday activity) and cooking for everyone. He also got me some running gear, like shoes, a water belt and a hat! I have to say, my first birthday married to him was a huge success. I'm so grateful for him!

Birthday pie is far better than birthday cake, or any type of cake.

As many bloggers do around their birthdays, I will be doing a post about 29 things I've learned in my 29 years here on earth. So here goes...

1. I've learned that friends come and go, but the real ones won't care how much distance or time has been put between our last conversation or meeting, they will always be there for me just like they were before.

2. Sometimes I get to a point in life where I have done what I can in a place, and soon I'll need to get out and explore again to feel a fire start inside of me. That is why cars were invented... so I can move around!

3. I can qualify by myself to buy a nice comfortable small house, I'm legit y'all.

4. Two opinionated headstrong people can live together and be just fine. They just have to make sure they communicate.

5. Cleaning the house and making dinner before my husband gets home on his busy weekends isn't anti-feminist, it's pro-love and makes him feel awesome. Which makes me feel awesome.

6. Candy really isn't good, you can actually grow to crave cucumber slices over a snickers.

7. I have GOT to be more pro-active in my health.

8. When you're married, you share all illnesses.

9. Cancer is no respecter of persons. Who cancer wants, cancer will take.

10. Boys use a LOT of toilet paper.

11. Cooking my own food provides the best results, every time.

12. I never know what I can handle until I have to live through it. Then, there I am, handling it better than I ever imagined I could, or handling something I didn't think I ever would be able to stand.

13. When I was younger, if something didn't reward me directly I didn't like it or want it. Now what makes me happy is still my own successes, but also seeing everyone I love succeed.

14. The design of college needs to be rethought. It is functional, but it is mostly a business. There is something missing that would make it truly great. If I could pinpoint that one thing, I'd start selling my idea to them.

15. I can grow plants from seeds.

16. Not every one wants friends... still boggles my mind.

17. Cats and dogs have souls. My cat looks me directly in the eye and puts his forehead on my cheek when I have been super kind and caring toward him all day. Probably the single most adorable thing to ever happen to me.

18. I'm not ready yet to be a mom, but I can see it happening someday. It would be cool to see someone you made grow into an awesome human.

19. People often want to complain about the messes they're in, but they never want advice... they just want to keep complaining until they decide to do something about it themselves. We are all guilty of this.

20. Even when I turn my back on people, they can surprise me for good. We just have to be wise about who we let back in when this happens. Some surprises are permanent changes. Some are just short-lived.

21. Laughter picks up even the worst days. My mom can suddenly find out she has a brain tumor, and have to have her brain cut into, and have to go through chemo and radiation and lose all her hair and be sicker than she ever has in her life, but every few days, my husband and I can have silly moments that make me laugh until I cry, and can't breathe. Because of this, I can find myself strong enough to go on with life and continue feeling hopeful.

22. God never leaves me. He is the hope in my heart, and the light at the end of a dark tunnel.

23. Even if I stop making art for 10 years, my mind will remember what my hands forgot. I just have to be patient and help my hands remember.

24. Running is power.

25. If we could look into the souls of every person, we would never hurt anyone. There is beauty in everyone, some people just don't know how to show theirs... yet. Some people just need to learn how to look for it.

26. Everyone can teach you something. Even if they are 2 years old and you are 80. You just have to be open to learning.

27. I am kind. I am smart. I am important.

28. Everyone is walking around with baggage... no one is baggage free, some just have learned how to carry it properly. If we could all see what God has asked each other to carry, we would understand where people are coming from.

29. I owe myself success.

Well, there you have it! That's not all I've learned, but those are the 29 that come to mind this morning. I'm loving this morning to myself thing. I am working a night shift tonight because of some work I have to do, so I fully intend to make the most of my beloved daytime hours! I think a jog in my new birthday running shoes is on the agenda before I head to the office. Have a great day everyone. Why don't you share with me some things you've learned? I would love to hear from you.

Here's something funny to combat my last post about being in a funk. This is exactly how it feels when I am tickled on the bottoms of my feet.  There is nothing funny, or awesome about it. It basically just puts me in pain and I get angry. I love Cyanide & Happiness comics. Click to make it larger if you need to.

Have you guys ever had sweet potatoes? I love them, and I also love yams... (I thought they were the same thing but I was corrected recently on that idea.) My sister in law made candied yams for Thanksgiving, and I couldn't stop eating them... it was probably one of my favorite things to eat this year.  So naturally I thought a soup mix I purchased called "Sweet potato soup" would be delicious. All the other soup mixes I bought from this brand are amazing.

So today I accidentally worked 10.5 hours on purpose at a 9-5 job. Stuff's gone crazy. I got a lot done though. By the time I made the 30 mile drive back to my home, I decided I just needed to lay in bed and vegetate... you know, lay like broccoli. But there was stuff I had to do at home first! So now it's finally lay in bed time. YAY!

For the first time ALL day, I'm relaxing. And let me tell you, it's wonderful. Nothing helps me unwind at the end of a crapstorm day like a good laugh and some vegetizing (is that even a word? ...it is now.)

This is what I found waiting for me on Facebook when I logged in. SO FUNNY! Kids really are some of the funniest creatures on this planet.

Enjoy.