Where I Stood, Missy Higgins

I know not very many people know about my deep dark secret that I am shedding light on today. I think it's because I'm afraid people will judge my skills and I'll feel stupid when they realize I'm not a genius at what I'm about to tell you. Here goes...

I love to play the piano, and wish I had one everyday.

There. I said it! Not very many of my friends and family ever get to hear me play. My bishopric has heard me on many occasions plinking away for hours after our church meetings are over. For the longest time I would sneak into a room and stop as soon as someone came in to listen. Lately though I'll leave the door open, or just keep playing when someone peeks in. I think even my best friends have never heard me play.

One thing I wish I could do that I have yet to be able to, is make up songs. I need to read sheet music to play anything because I've forgotten all my chords and theory to be able to just sit down and knock out random music. But I will give myself credit. I can play most things written down. I was given the talent of sight reading. I have lots of sheet music and usually keep my entire sheet music collection in my trunk so I can use it whenever I find a free piano.

The latest idea I've had and I only share this because I want to be comfortable with this instead of hiding it too, is I want to learn how to sing and play at the same time. I don't profess to be a good singer, I don't know if I like my voice, or if anyone else will either. I do know however that I am able to carry a tune fairly well and I am the daughter of a woman whose voice could be mistaken for Karen Carpenter's so maybe there's some talent hidden in there somewhere! But don't ever expect to hear Mariah Carey's high notes come out of me. I'm an alto, and low soprano, and I'm shy. Why am I sharing all this you ask?

Because I'm teaching myself to sing and play the song above. I can't promise I'll ever sound good, and no I won't be adding my rendition of her song to Youtube for all my "fans". I just wanted to tell people so I can't pretend I wasn't given a talent that I'm hiding.

But don't ask me to play in church. Hymns make me sound like I rarely play... for some reason they are excellent at jumbling my fingers and making me mess up, which for me is SUPER embarrassing, and I feel the need to say out loud "sorry", to which then I feel even dumber for feeling the need to apologize for hitting the wrong note. I have no idea why it embarrasses me... it just does.