A revival of sorts

I've spent the past year in a kind of fog. Shortly after I got married and had a blast on a cruise to the tropics, something was a little off with me. First it started with a few random instances of acute nausea for 5 minutes here and there. People at work teasing me that I was pregnant with my honeymoon baby. (Insert shrill scream. SO NOT READY FOR A KID.) Then I started regularly having problems with my stomach. I thought maybe my anxiety was back, but I didn't feel anxious, only my stomach issues were present. I went through a lot of ideas before I went to my doctor. I asked her if it was my birth control pill. I'd been on the generic form of this pill for 6 years at this point, with no issues. The last 3 months before my appointment, however, were not the same. My personality had changed too. I no longer felt like doing ANYTHING. I would come home and vegetate every single night and just feel... blah.

That's the only word to describe it. Two or three times a week after we ate dinner I'd be sick for the rest of the night. My doctor referred me to a gastroenterologist who checked nothing, no blood test, he didn't even touch my stomach to check for problems, and then he put me on this horrendously awful antibiotic to kill a "possible parasite from your honeymoon abroad". I questioned his judgment but dumbly followed his advice. This pill was in my system for 8 days. The first 5 days I was taking it I progressively got sicker and sicker until day 5. I was so stoned (I'm amazed I made it through any of those days at work), my whole body hurt and I was vomiting so badly that I almost drove myself to the ER. I quit taking it that night and laid in bed the next 3 days until it was out of my system. It took a week though before I stopped tasting metal in my mouth.

If a doctor ever prescribes you Metronizadole, tell him he's gotta be out of his effing mind!

I went to another doctor who wanted to give me the dreaded colonoscopy and endoscopy. My husband and I at this point were willing to do it until I found out it wasn't covered by insurance because I'm too young to need one. I was so sick of being miserable but something didn't feel right. I didn't think we needed to pay $2000 for me to have the procedure. So then we looked into diet changes, I stopped eating dairy completely for 3 weeks and started to improve. Right about this time though I started getting really hot and nauseated multiple times a day. I'd have to run to the bathroom wherever I was and put water on my face and try not to vomit. My skin would be hot to the touch on my arms, chest, neck and face. For anywhere from 2 minutes to 5 hours. I was having hot flashes!

I was really depressed and felt like I had become trapped in an old lady's body. I felt like a bad wife because I was never happy or energetic, and didn't want to do anything ever. I was messy, and miserable. One night I sat my husband down and discussed me quitting the birth control pill I was on. I had been on it for 7 years at this point and just wanted to cleanse my body of everything unnatural to it. I needed to see what life was like without it again, and get myself healthy. We aren't ready to have kids so we really didn't want me to go off it. I just knew, though, that it would be the right thing for me. So that night, I quit taking my pill. Three months later I have improved dramatically. Although I do have to say throughout the month following that day, I was a trainwreck. My emotions were all over the board, my body had no idea what to do with itself, I was exhausted, hormonal, mean, sick, and just plain batshit crazy.

But I felt happier inside. I felt my depression start to lift.

Funny thing though, my natural hormone production has gone haywire with all those years on the pill. I have teenage acne, my hair is greasy, but my body LOVES being away from those crazy hormones. Other fun perks, my husband says my breath smells better than it ever did. (Sorry for my contraceptive-caused halitosis this whole time!) I also feel like my brain is waking up to new goals, new hobbies, cleanliness, and happiness. I am so thankful I went with my gut. We really do know our bodies and can figure out what they need if we pay enough attention. I knew 6 months before I quit that pill that I needed to. I wish I had sooner.

For the record, I was taking Yaz and its generic derivative. I will never take that crap ever again. It is seriously messed up. I read forums after I quit about the insane side effects it causes in women. And not just the ones in the lawsuits.

It feels so good to be responsible for my health and in control of it once again. Now if I could just get my body to handle cheese again! I miss pizza. It's been almost a year since I could stomach it.

Baby steps...