Friendship Timeline

I find that the older I get the less I make new really close friends. I don't say this to be a downer, I've actually been contemplating this fact for the past couple of years. This post is not so much a "poor me, my friends all live far away" as it is a "what is the method for finding friends in my phase of life?". When we're young, friends basically fall into our laps.

Here's a timeline of sorts to help illustrate my idea:

Birth to 4 years old: whoever is in your neighborhood, is instantly a part of the club. Also, cousins, siblings and other short people will do.

Kindergarten-6th grade: Look to your left, look to your right. The girl sitting in the desk at either of those directions will most likely end up being your best friend. Move to a new group of desks? Repeat this process all over again. Easy peasy.

7th-12th grade: repeat the steps from elementary school. Also whoever joins any similar activities to you will also be a buddy. Occasionally you have to find a new circle because teenage girls are chock full of insane hormones and tend to get really mean and exclusive... but this can easily be done as you now have several classes a day instead of just one group of kids all day. No more friends in first period? Try second period in 30 minutes!

COLLEGE: Anywhere you go, just ask someone your age what kind of music they like, or favorite movies... and BAM INSTANT FRIENDSHIP FOREVER! Another instant friendship is often the 'college roomie' situation. These two types of friendships also tend to be tightened and strengthened by helping each other deal with weird roommates, boy drama, and dance parties! If there's any random crazy fun to be had, you'll have it.

Mid-twenties: Your college and high school friends have whittled down to a tight-knit group. You've been through hell and back with each other, and you have become better people with and because of these friends. You've spent many a night dishing what made you the way you are, and discussing your hopes and dreams. You've probably even had to be at the giving/receiving end of some harsh words of honesty from one another. That's why your friendship is still alive and kicking. By now you've sent some of these girls down the aisle as one of their bridesmaids, and even watched some of them graduate from college and get their dream jobs. 

Current situation: Late 20's, early 30's. I have a tight group of friends that I consider my very close best friends. I'm watching them become moms to their first, second and third children. We've got years of life behind us together, and we know each other's families, and each other's secrets. We'd never hold back the truth from each other even if it hurts because we know we are supposed to help each other. We are like sisters. Every time we talk or see each other life picks up right where it left off, with a LOT of chatting of course to catch up. We are scattered all over the world, and it doesn't matter. Some of us are married, some are not. Some are moms, some are not. But we are all in life together, and will always be there for each other even though there are now thousands of miles and even an ocean between some of us.

So how do we make new friends in this station in life? I feel like it's much harder to find new close friends now that I'm in this phase. It used to be "I NEED A SOCIAL LIFE SO I WILL TALK TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE." I had a lot of friends that were good and bad for me, and the more I get older and more responsible with my life, I find that I need just to keep the ones around that are good for me and I can easily let most people go with ease. I am able to talk to most people, but I rarely now form lasting bonds with anyone new. I'd like to challenge myself to find a new friend in the next 12 months that I have a lasting, deep friendship with.

So, who wants to hang out?
I have treats... and a kitten.