Yolographer

I've always been a huge eye-roller toward bandwagons. The flared pants bandwagon that I swore I'd never ever ever do, but about 9 months later I had a pair of flared leg jeans with a stripe down the side (I was 14... it was the style in the late 90's/2000). I refused to ever wear skinny jeans because they were so tight and weird. I have tiny ankles and thought they would make my feet look like skis. Now they are what I wear 99% of the time and have since 2007. Skinny pants are made for stick legs. I happen to be the proud owner of a pair of very stick-like legs! It's been a match made in heaven.

I still can't seem to jump on the Ugg boots wagon though. I tried... but the cheap ones look awful, and the expensive ones are too pricey. So I just wear my moccasins. And I'm happy that way.

Lately it's the YOLO bandwagon that I have had a tendency to be annoyed by. I feel like YOLO or You Only Live Once is a way to get away with whatever you want and never have to apologize for hurting yourself or anyone else. I know... I'm such a boring grown up.

Well, today I want to stop being against this bandwagon. I think there might be something to this, when used in the right way. This past year has taught me a lot about life, and how even the healthiest of people can become extremely ill and be counting down the days to their end. I don't want to miss anymore of what seems exhilarating but never "for  me." I'm such an anxious person, that I've never gone cliff jumping, or gone for that huge job that I probably won't get any way, or moved to the other side of the world without a single plan in the works for when I get there. I'm the type that gets a job in a city and pays a down payment on a rental, with money I have saved for a few months in advance, before moving.

My mom's cancer has made me feel like I need to be more brave, less cautious, and just go for the gold. I still don't think I want to go sky diving with my husband, but there's a little time to work up to that one.

So today I took a baby step. I was at the grocery store picking up some lunch, and there was an awesome chicken salad snack bowl that had slices of cheese on the side. I started drooling like a Pavlovian dog, and I thought to myself, "I have been craving cheese for weeks but really shouldn't eat it since it hurts my stomach and I've been so good. Just walk away from it Lana." Then I turned and walked away from it.

I didn't get very far before the YOLO shoulder angel popped up and said, "Lana YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE! Eat the effing cheese and smile through the gas and cramps later!" (In case you're wondering, the YOLO fairy doesn't swear unless it's for something bigger than cheese.)

So I thought... YEAH. YOLO. YOLO!!!!! And I went and bought the dang thing, and ate it and LOVED IT. Sure my stomach hurts now and I am sitting here thinking... SCREW YOU CHEDDAR CHEESE, and screw your amazing delectability! But... at least I got to enjoy me some cheddar cheese for the first time since September.

I think tomorrow I might just go to Animal Ark and hold a tarantula. Or maybe I'll tattoo a picture of my family on my arms and then join a fight club.

Or maybe I'll just throw caution to the wind completely and show up to work at noon without calling in first.

YOLO, EMPLOYER. YOLO.

The possibilities really are endless!

What I'm really getting at is, I have nothing to fear but a life unlived. So... what should I do with all this time since I never know how much I have?