Ohhh the anxiety!!!

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If anyone has ever suffered from anxiety they understand that while it can be explained, it often doesn't make sense. It can run rampant if you're not careful, or it can be totally kept at bay. Sometimes this is determined by how much sleep you get, or how much emotional stress you're under, or your level of exercise... Or sometimes it just happens. What I do know is, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Some people's anxiety manifests as panic attacks, others as nausea, and even others as hives or other symptoms. It's funny that us anxiety sufferers are more common than people think, yet we never talk about it for fear of being looked at as "unfit" people.

Anxiety is one of the biggest mental disorders in the country, yet I feel like calling it a disorder gives it a stigma that doesn't need to be there. Even people who don't suffer from chronic anxiety still get anxious. It's a human condition. Our body naturally responds to fear, and anxiety is your body's response to some sort of fear, even if it's not necessary to be afraid at the time. If so many people have it, why is it then a disorder?

It could be called a disorder because it involves negative consequences.  Some people are so anxious about some things they become phobic, and a phobia can cause severe problems if not watched and worked on. Thankfully, my anxiety just manifests in times of turmoil in my life. I went from age 12 to age 25 before I actually worked on it and figured out how to control it and beat it. My anxiety manifests as nausea and is controlled by regular exercise, healthy sleep, and eating. Occasionally, too, I take an herbal supplement from Good Earth stores. If I'm extremely stressed I can get a mild-moderate anxious feeling for days or weeks on end, and my appetite totally disappears. During this time I also get excessively irritable and tired. If I get overwhelmed enough, I actually get physically sick, and have to put a stop to it before it gets really bad.

So, while I'm dealing with hardships, I often deal with more than I really need to. Not only do I have to cope with whatever hardship is there, I have to figure out how to keep my health intact, and this is not an easy feat when you naturally create anxious feelings inside of yourself. This past year has not been a good one. I was taking a birth control pill that ramped up my anxiety pretty badly, and I was pretty sick for most of the winter/spring. Not to mention what finding out my mom has cancer, and watching her suffer has done, and a busier year at work than I've ever had before.

I've realized that I've been excessively tired and really grouchy for the past month now, and am sad to admit, that I'm suffering anxiety symptoms again. I think all we can do in times of hardship is remember it's ok to have a hard time. It's ok to be sad and to struggle, if we didn't, it wouldn't be a hardship, and there would be no life lesson's learned.  The more patience we have with ourselves in times of struggle, the quicker we get through them. I've learned that the more I become upset with myself for not handling things as perfectly as others seem to, or for not being as strong as I thought I should have been, it becomes harder to handle things in general. If I take a deep breath, relax and say, "It's ok to be stressed and struggling when you have a full load to carry", I become peaceful and more able to handle the hardships and blows as they come.

So embrace the anxiety within you, and say, "I'm capable, and able to get through this. It's ok that right now I don't feel awesome." At age 26, I learned that something as simple as that can change your life permanently and give you strength you didn't have before.

And at age 29, I'm realizing that was the best thing I ever did for my life.