Moms and Daughters

So, I was looking on Pinterest this morning for a "how-to" on something for my wedding (I LOVE being able to say those two words 'my wedding'), and I found this beautiful blog post someone had linked to. It is advice for moms to their daughters.

While I was reading it, I started to get teary. It's not sad or anything, it just reminded me of how much my mom has done for me and how she has successfully done all of the things on this list. I needed her more than ever as a little kid, she was the only parent I had for a few years. Even as an adult, she's always been there for me, and I'm so grateful to know that while life always gets crazy and takes you to places away from home, she'll always be my mom.

The points that remind me most about my mom from the blog are below, but the original post is here. I recommend checking it out.

2. Let her put on your makeup, even if it means bright-red-smudged lips and streaked-blue eyes. Let her experiment in her attempts to be like you…then let her be herself.

I wore green and red eye shadow with blue mascara when I was 12. I tried so hard to be like older girls but couldn't figure their makeup out. I also wore boys clothes, or weird things, and she'd suggest prettier girly things but always let me do what I wanted with my clothes and figure out how I wanted to look. I shape shifted all through high school, and ultimately became the girl I am now because I tried what I wanted to try.

3. Let her be wild. She may want to stay home and read books on the couch, or she may want to hop on the back of a motorcycle-gasp. She may be a homebody or a traveler. She may fall in love with the wrong boy, or meet mr. right at age 5. Try to remember that you were her age once. Everyone makes mistakes, let her make her own.

Been there, and am never judged negatively by her. Other friends have moms that would yell at them all the time for their mistakes or deviations from their parents' idea of where they should go. I have never felt like I was disappointing my mom with my life. 

6. Teach her to be independent. Show her by example that woman can be strong. Find and follow your own passions. Search for outlets of expression and enjoyment for yourself- not just your husband or children.  Define yourself by your own attributes, not by what others expect you to be. Know who you are as a person, and help your daughter find out who she is.

If you know my mother, you know this one is obvious. That woman gets involved in anything and everything. She's a busy-body and always tries things and masters them with practice.

8. Let her get messy. Get messy with her, no matter how much it makes you cringe inside. Splash in the puddles, throw snowballs, make mud pies, finger paint the walls: just let it happen. The most wonderful of memories are often the messy ones.

Look at my mom in this picture, need I explain more about how awesome she is?

My mom let me live outside in the summers basically. I made "stews" and "potions" from whatever I could find outside, I swung through mud puddles at the park covering myself head to toe with muddy water. I played in gutters when it rained so hard that it created little geysers in our driveway, and we always went camping and got dirty. I always had dirty, cut, bruised legs as a kid because I got to play and explore and experience childhood the way it should be.

12. Believe in her. It is the moments that she does not believe in herself that she will need you to believe enough for both of you. Whether it is a spelling test in the first grade, a big game or recital, a first date, or the first day of college…remind her of the independent and capable woman you have taught her to be.

She's never done anything but. And she celebrates my achievements. We went on a girl's trip to San Francisco for my college graduation. Just us two. One of my favorite vacations I've ever had.

16. Read to her. Read her Dr. Seuss and Eric Carle. But also remember the power of Sylvia Plath and Robert Frost. Show her the beauty of words on a page and let her see you enjoy them. Words can be simply written and simply spoken, yet can harvest so much meaning. Help her to find their meaning.

This is one of her greatest talents. All of us kids read extremely well because we spent a big chunk of our childhoods with our noses in books and stories, and loving every minute of it. I had a library card when I was about 5 and would checkout a big bag of books, and we couldn't go back to the library until we read them all. We are good learners, quick thinkers, and somewhat artistic because our brains would come alive when reading stories as children. It's one of the best things you can do for a child. It will benefit their life forever.

18. Encourage her to dance and sing. Dance and sing with her- even if it sounds or looks horrible.  Let her wiggle to nursery rhymes. Let her dance on her daddy's feet and spin in your arms. Then later, let her blast noise and headbang in her bedroom with her door shut if she wants. Or karaoke to Tom Petty in the living room if she would rather. Introduce her to the classics- like The Beatles- and listen to her latest favorite- like Taylor Swift. Share the magic of music together, it will bring you closer- or at least create a soundtrack to your life together.

If you know my mother, you know her greatest talent. And that is anything with music. Because of her, I love music and theater of all kinds. I love instrumental music and exceptional singers, and performers. I love music that gets your blood pumping and makes you want to run for hours. She encouraged me to sing in groups in church growing up, and I know I can carry a tune. If only her confidence on stage had rubbed off on me. I do not perform like she does. :)

22. Let her choose who she loves. Even when you see through the charming boy she thinks he is, let her love him without your disapproving words: she will anyway. When he breaks her heart, be there for her with words of support rather than I told-you-so. Let her mess up again and again until she finds the one. And when she finds the one, tell her.

Story of my life. I never have felt like I couldn't run my life. She allows me to live and learn, especially when it comes to dating. Now that I'm getting married, I feel so happy to know how respectful and happy she is toward Justin. She let me fall for idiots, so I'd recognize a good one when he showed up. I don't know if she knew what she was doing when this happened, but it worked. People generally know how to do things if you show them they are capable of handling things themselves.

25. Be home. When she is sick with a cold or broken heart, she will come to you: welcome her. When she is engaged or pregnant, she will run to you to share her news: embrace her. When she is lost or confused, she will search for you: find her. When she needs advice on boys, schools, friends or an outfit: tell her. She is your daughter and will always need a safe harbor- where she can turn a key to see comforting eyes and a familiar smile: be home. 

My mom is totally this for me. When I was at my very worst a few years ago, I came home and she took care of me for a few days. It gave me the energy I needed to start over and become better and stronger and healthier. She is always there when I need her. 

What about you? Are you lucky enough to have such a mother? Please tell me about your favorite parts of the post that apply to your mom... or even someone in your life that took/takes care of you in this way.

Also, this Taylor Swift song always reminds me of her when I hear it. Such a sweet dedication to her mother.