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| Heidi Montag's before picture is a gorgeous slender blonde beauty, and just because boys made fun of her, doesn't mean she needed to change! The tiny before shot at the bottom of this cover is how she really was. Beautiful and Real. |
I am trying to give people a realistic perception on what makes a woman REAL. My rant over Kesha's concert and music in a previous post was just a taste of what I feel about women in the media, and how it effects the rest of our society. Also I want to attack our desensitization and wake us all up to the fact that we have become victims of our society. Every where I look these days women are getting plastic surgery. There are shows on TV dedicated just to showing the life of a plastic surgeon and his cosmetic enhancement capers. And most of us don't even see it. I am guilty of this a lot too!
It's funny how you can't really make it big anymore in the media's realm unless you can sell sex. Now I'm not attacking the act of sex, or the fact that it's attractive to people. It is SUPPOSED to be attractive to people, that is the way we humans were designed. I am attacking the fact that our society's constant image of women in the media is not realistic. I want to remind people of how amazing women in real life actually are, and how much we women have in us that is more valuable than the billion dollar industries that sell an image that is completely and utterly false.
So, how can you help me? I want comments people. LOTS and LOTS of comments on this post. Tell me what your idea of a real woman is, or tell me about a woman you know that is amazing, or tell me what you love about yourself if you are a woman... (those are just some basic ideas). Anything you want to post on here about this will be a major help to me, and my "secret" project. I will tell you all one day what it is, but until it is actually in the works, it will be my little private dream. I want to protect it so I can make it come to life.
Please help me with this, it would mean the world to me. I love hearing other people's opinions, views, etc. So with that being said... goodnight, and I can't wait to read all of your thoughts on what makes women amazing!
And here is a video that I recently found that makes me feel motivated on this topic...
Wowza! I really love that video! I can't imagine how crazy it is going to get as time progresses. 50 years ago it was not acceptable for a woman to put a life sized picture of herself on a billboard for EVERYONE to see. (you could argue that other cultures did 50 years ago and you would be right but in all cases there was a time where it was considered unbecoming and inappropriate)
ReplyDeleteI really feel like the way things are going in this field is toxic. Expectations of perfection run so rampant and if we don't measure up to perfection we have been taught to hate not just ourselves but outcast and alienate others for their lack ob "beauty".
A real woman is someone that can stand up for what she believes in. I am glad I don't have to know what it feels like to look in a mirror and want perfection. I am happy with what I have. I am not perfect and that is what makes me perfect for those that truly love me. Life is all about giving and appropriately accepting love. I really hope that I have daughters so I can help them be thankful for what god gave them and help them focus more on natural beauty that is already so present with them and capitalizing on what they already have than focusing on what they need to change to look perfect. No one is perfect in action so why should we demand a woman be perfect in looks. If I didn't have to be up so early I would write a 5 pager. I could talk about this for hours
Since mostly LDS read your blog, you'll probably get some comments on how a real woman is one that wants to raise and nurture children in a traditional family environment. One that stays virtuous, respects her body, etc.
ReplyDeleteSuch concepts are becoming less accepted these days due to the feminist movement and the whole sexual revolution. I've heard some wonder just "whose" sexual revolution it really is--since a more sexually open female population disproportionately benefits the males more than it does the very females driving it.
I think a real [nice] woman is one that understands her power over a man, but doesn't abuse it. It's no secret that women have a powerful effect on us fellas, for better or for worse. Most guys would agree that a sincerely supportive woman by their side is a source of huge drive and motivation, probably more so than any other incentive. Kind of like in the latest HIMYM episode with Lily and Marshall. Maybe that can be a chapter in your project. :)
I love that you feel the same way I do. Sometimes I have a hard time not getting angry when I look around and see the way women are portrayed as "objects of desire" in our society. I believe that a real woman is one who doesn't need the approval of the world to feel good about herself. One who can love her imperfections because without them she knows she wouldn't be "real" without them. A real woman is a woman who stands up for what she believes in and is willing to work for her dreams. A real woman is one who embraces her ability to naturally love, recognizing it as the God given gift that it is. Thanks again for this post - it really made me think.
ReplyDeleteHere are just a few ideas I’ve been working on as far as what I see a real woman as being. First of all, I recognize that since I’m a guy it’s easy for me to say how I think that a girl should be, without having all the pressure of actually being a girl and living up to that. Admittedly it’s much easier being a guy in many ways. I know that I couldn’t keep up with the race that girls are pressured to run. So I hope I don’t come off as too much of a hypocrite at any point in the rest of this post in any way.
ReplyDeleteHere are some of my thoughts on the worth of women:
As a therapist who sometimes has to work hard at being caring I very much appreciate the natural ability to nurture that women seem to have. While I do feel that guys tend to be more nurturing than we are given credit for, girls still seem to have us beat in their ability to nurture in ways that are beyond me. There’s an inherent worth in that that shouldn’t be underestimated.
Along those same lines, I value kindness in a girl. I think that the value of kindness is sometimes forgotten and underrated. Not every person is kind, but everyone can be. Whether you feel that you’re attractive or not you can still think kindly of and show kindness toward others. That’s very attractive.
I appreciate when a girl has taken time to figure herself out (as much as anyone can really figure his- or herself out at any given time), someone who has taken time to explore the recesses of her soul, in relation to herself, to her family, to others, to God. No matter who you are there’s a lot going on in there and it should be given some deliberate thought. In some ways it energizes me to hear a girl talk about herself when it’s evident that she has had deep insights about herself as a human being. It’s very real.
I appreciate when a girl has an opinion (on things that really matter) that wasn’t given to her by someone else. It’s refreshing to hear a well-thought-out opinion from someone who has weighed it against other opinions.
On a very personal note I very much value being able to have a deep conversation with a girl; I can’t even get close to a girl unless I feel like I can talk with her on much more than a superficial level. It’s incredibly fulfilling to connect with a girl on a very deep, very profound level and discover something intriguing there. As far as beauty goes I would feel incredibly lonely with even the most attractive woman if I didn’t feel like I could hold much of a conversation with her.
I appreciate when a girl is deliberate about choosing her values, knowing the meaning behind them, and living up to them. Physical beauty can’t really make up for that.
It’s respectable when girls are very deliberate and thoughtful in the decisions that they make in regards to themselves, their family, their boyfriends, their husbands, their children, their friends, acquaintances, strangers, their womanhood, their future, their health, their talents, their spirituality, their entertainment, and anything else that deserves attention.
I love when a girl knows when it’s time to be independent and when it’s time to be dependant, and who is not afraid to be either.
To me it’s invaluable when a girl has an understanding of her emotions, accepts them, and is not afraid of them.
I admire girls who sacrifice and permanently alter their body to give God’s spirit children a chance at life, especially in light of the fact that they are completely surrounded by and compared to so many “perfect” women who have chosen not to.
Here are some of my thoughts on women’s beauty specifically:
ReplyDeleteIf society put as many demands on guys as it does on girls then I would have dropped out of the being-attractive race a long time ago, not caring to keep up. I’ve always said that I would be an ugly girl because I couldn’t put in all the time it takes to keep up with current, popular American society as a girl. I also recognize that I’m about as guilty as the next guy of directly or indirectly putting pressure on girls without necessarily realizing it, since I do find these “perfect” women in the media very attractive. That probably makes me a hypocrite in some ways. That being said, I do recognize that most of those women are no longer completely real, don’t lead real women’s lives, don’t have real women’s time constraints and life demands, may very well have enough hidden issues that their beauty is one of their few truly attractive qualities, or have to make hellish sacrifices that they probably don’t make known in order to be perfect. I do also try to encourage girls to be realistic about and comfortable with their bodies, while still taking care of them.
No matter what, whether or not a girl is physically beautiful or not there is a lot more to her than that. I feel that everything that I mentioned above makes a girl attractive. I find it very attractive when a girl is educated and has an opinion, when she can carry a very meaningful conversation, and when she connects with other. I don’t feel that Girls don’t have to be in perfect shape to be beautiful. I think that girls of almost any shape and with almost any face can be very feminine. Any girl can be pleasant and have a glowing smile. Girls who aren’t the prettiest become more pretty when they smile, even if it’s just with their eyes.
So this is just my humble opinion and a few thoughts that I had. I could be wrong about some of it but I feel strongly about it and feel that girls should develop and give themselves credit for more than just their looks.