If this makes sense.

It's not every day that someone we know passes away. Usually death pulls one of two reactions from me. The first being a peaceful feeling, knowing it was their time to go, and that wherever they are, they are smiling down on us and watching over us. The second, feeling sad that it was too soon for them and there are a lot of people wishing they were still here.

This week there was another reaction from me regarding the death of someone I hardly knew. It shook me to the core and made me feel nauseated. I've heard of suicides before in my life, I'm not sure why this particular suicide shook me the way it did. Maybe it's because we were friends on Facebook, and their life appeared so wonderful -- or at least that's how they published it online. Maybe it's because I know there are people here on Earth that at this very moment are desperate for answers of why and how and what and where they could've done more or could've helped. There is a family picking up the pieces of their broken hearts... or not even starting to yet.

Suicide rocks everyone involved. There is always someone that has to find the person and tell others what happened. There are the family members that have to learn to live without them. There are the children or friends that have to try to understand why, even though they'll never know. It is never a peaceful death experience. We don't sit here on this side of the veil between heaven and earth and say, "It was their time." Because if it were, it wouldn't have been a suicide.

I can't think of a worse feeling to have in this life, than to feel your only option is to die to save yourself. I have been in the pits of despair with depression before, but maybe I wasn't actually THAT far down? I never thought "I need to end it all." I did look in the mirror one day and say to myself, "Wow, if I don't get help now I might die from this eventually."

I guess what I'm saying is... please get help. Go for a walk, count to 10. Call a friend. Call 50 friends, knock on people's doors, grab the phone book and call everyone listed until someone talks to you... but don't give up. Don't ever, ever, ever give up. I promise that as bleak as this world is, there are people that care about you. All is not lost, even if it feels awful for a very long time. It really bothers me that this world is so technologically saturated that we can appear to have the most perfect life on Facebook, and be slowly dying inside and no one knows.

I can't say that I agree with this person's choice. But I also can't say that I know what it was like to be them. I'm not sure they ever thought this many people would be rocked by their choice. People that hardly knew them. I hope wherever they are, that they're able to find the peace they were seeking. Lord knows the people they left behind will be seeking it for a long time to come.